Take the Trump University exam. How do you score?
All President-elects have to tidy up a few loose ends when they prepare to move into the Oval Office. Donald Trump has to do it, of course, on a somewhat bigger scale. Or more bigly, as he might say. So it is that the next US President finds himself paying $25m to settle a fraud case brought on behalf of students at the defunct Trump University. They paid through the nose for the chance to learn the secrets of the real estate business in New York (borrow lots of money, do deals with the construction unions, build tall) and to be photographed next to a cardboard cutout of the Donald. What are they complaining about? The students were clearly offered tuition of the highest quality – just so great – and to prove it we publish here the exam paper with which Trump University undergraduates completed their studies. How do you score?
Q1: Economics: Who is the world’s greatest tycoon ever? Think carefully…
Q2: History: Who or what is a Jeb Bush?
Q3: Philosophy: When is a wall really just a fence?
Q4: Mathematics: Have you paid your fees to Trump University?
Q5: Real estate: Who builds the best buildings with the most gold?
Answers: To receive the answers you must pay another $5,000 in administration fees. (American Express or MasterCard accepted).
What you win, if you scored…
0 marks? Have your lawyer contact our lawyer for a share of $25m.
1-3 marks? You are offered the chance to pose next to a cardboard cutout of Donald Trump, we mean it this time, further to payment of another small administration fee (cutout of Donald Trump not supplied.)
For 4 marks? You are hereby appointed Attorney General of the United States. (Offer subject to Senate confirmation.)
For 5 marks? You win the chance to join our postgraduate programme, where for $5000 per term you will learn invaluable leadership skills and the art of the deal, working at the heart of the Trump organisation. (Positions* on offer are elevator attendant and elevator attendant *no positions may be available, terms and conditions apply.)